I would love to tell you that I've been busy setting up free snow cone stands in Zimbabwe or some crazy shit like that, but the truth is.... I've been drunk.
Maybe not continuously drunk for the entire two weeks, but most afternoons and pretty much all day on Saturday's and Sunday's.
Now, I would like to post a blog point of my own:
I'm absolutely appalled by this video! I mean, HOLY SHIT!
This quote from Billy Madison accurately describes what I'm feeling right now:
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul".
While Stewart's off in V-Town saving the world, I'm stuck back here on the mainland in what can only be described as a bubbling cesspool of ignorance that grows larger with each new episode of "Wife Swap", "The Real World", "Big Brother 17" and "Laguna Beach" that hits the airways. (BTW, LC is so hot right now and I'm glad she finally broke up with Jason for good. He was trouble from the start and she deserves better. Now she will finally have an opportunity to pursue her dreams of being a fashion designer in LA.....You Go Girl!).
If the above video doesn't make you want to throw up a little bit, then I want you to stop reading this blog and go hit yourself in the head with something heavy. I honestly believe that there should be a constitutional amendment outlawing beauty pageants.
I'm going to go ahead and address the countless e-mails that I'm going to get from supporters of beauty pageants, telling me that they're good for girls because it promotes self-esteem, Blah, Blah, Blah...
Look at these girls. When have they ever had a self esteem problem? These are the hottest, most popular and probably wealthiest girls in their school. The same girls that used to get all creeped out when they would catch me staring at their boobs in the lunchroom.
Most of these girls have been pampered since they were toddlers. All these events do is encourage this ridiculous behavior well into adulthood. Seriously, there are women in this country who participate in these things for a living! Miss Teen USA, Miss USA, Miss Universe, Etc...
Now don't get me wrong, I am a southern gentleman through and through but I honestly think that I might have slapped this girl in the back of the head about half way into this if I was standing next to her. So, kudos to Mario Lopez for keeping his composure.
The worst part about this whole thing is SHE'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT HER HIGH SCHOOL IN LEXINGTON, SC WITH A 3.5 GPA!
So Stewart, if I had to give you a "State of The Union" right now, I would say you might start thinking about making V-Rock your permanent residence. After all, how many opportunities are you gonna get to be the tallest person in an entire town?
1 comment:
That´s amazing. I´ve heard about the video but not been able to see it yet. Can´t wait to watch it on Monday. Three more things:
1. I wish I could write as funny as you can.
2. I´m still waiting for your blog to have a ¿ or Ñ or ó.
3. Call Jay for me and tell him to send me an email. I emailed him, but I´m not sure if it got through.
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